Hello, I’m Sheeana

I'm not like regular Women, I am as deep as the ocean and have gone to the depths of the darkness to resurrect my wholeness in ways I never dreamed possible.

Who I am as a human being, a lover, a Woman and expression of the Feminine today, is a testament to the amount of work I have done in my own healing processes, embodiment, sexuality and spiritual journey.

You see, my whole life I lived completely unconsciously and moved from a place of severe wounding and trauma, which kept me looping in toxic cycles and repeating the same stories, narratives and victim roles.

As a child, I was fragmented from sexual abuse that started from a very young age and experienced a childhood full of trauma and abuse. I lived my whole life repeating these violations externally, in situations, circumstances and surrounding myself with people who offered me the same balm that felt like home. In toxic relationships, in abusing my own body and sexuality. I was numb, dissociated and used substances to escape from this reality that I didn't want to be in. I was very suicidal for a long time and moved in and out of this reality, hiding behind smiles and being a fun time girl who liked to party a lot.

No matter what I did, the highs were fleeting, I was always disgusted in my body and held onto severe hatred towards myself as a whole. This is a common story for many who have experienced this type of trauma in the body. I always felt like I was never good enough, I wasn't worthy of love or connection, and I kept most people at arms lengths because I held on to so much shame and guilt within.

What if they found out how truly broken, I was? 

I wore this protective shield and armor around my heart for decades, and it was very heavy and painful. I hid my softness, my pure feminine expression and tenderness, because I so deeply feared that people would use it against me, as they had done many times in the past. I rejected my vulnerability, as I saw it as weakness and something that could be manipulated. I hid who I was at my most primal and sacred core, keeping myself small for other people’s pleasures, feeling like I was too much and masking myself to fit into boxes and places to feel like I belonged.

I calcified and hardened so much that I completely lost myself in the world. I felt like a soulless, empty shell of a woman. This brings me to tears to even write about and remember, because the feeling of losing yourself, being disconnected from the essence of you and all things around you is the most tragic thing to ever experience. Severe disassociation and dissonance to myself, others and the physical world around me.

I couldn't connect with anyone deeply; I was always at war with myself, and this was reflected in my chaotic and tumultuous surroundings. This really started to manifest in my physical body, as I was literally eating myself on the inside and had received a diagnosis of liver disease in 2013. I was 26 at the time and had to go on treatment and this was another initiation into my internal world, health, wellness and energetics to heal myself and get to the root.

Through many divine interventions I would say, many signals and signs, intense heartbreaks, solo deep dives into the underworld of my own muck, I started to claw myself out of my own living hell. Slowly.

Over the years, I started to listen deeper to the whispers of Her and the great cosmos, I heard the calling and surrendered on my knees over and over again. I delved into the great unknown and decided to follow that awakening all the way home back to myself and my body.

It was hard. It was bone breaking, soul crushing, and devastatingly beautiful all at once. Singing myself home was no small feat. I unraveled all the way to dust and nothingness, collected fragments of myself that I had given away, or repressed and shunned and I kissed them tenderly to their original and most divine essence.
Piece by piece, I was becoming the masterpiece that the creator had intended me to be. I was returning to my wholeness and my external world started to shift and evolve. I could list so many modalities and trainings I have done, that have paved the way for me and for my reality to be one that is in alignment with my authentic and full spectrum self, but in reality, that remembrance bloomed from within and the external was sometimes just an illusion I had to release.

I have stepped into many different systems and places, been down many paths, and I believe this is what makes me a truly transformational space holder. I follow the energetics and the thread of truth, even if it hurts, especially if it hurts, because that is medicine too.

Nobody likes looking at their own shit, it’s uncomfortable and heart wrenching at times, but we must look at all the ways we are sitting in our own stories and unconsciously replaying them outward. The victim, the inner child, the saboteur, although completely valid and an expression and protection to keep you safe, you don't move mountains and build kingdoms in survival, you stay stagnant and eternally stuck in a loop.

Awakening to my womb, healing all the scars and the deep soul bruises within her, allowed me to awaken to truth, to the call of the primordial feminine and step into my highest alignment and my deepest soul essence. As I moved through this past decade, shedding my skin, releasing layers of conditioning and beliefs that were never mine to carry, purged trauma from my body and passed down through my lineage on my maternal and paternal sides…. Something deep in my pussy ignited.

A remeberance….. of who the fuck I actually am!!

I was able to drop into my true oracle nature, my heart softened, what was once dense became fluid, like running waters in my being. My sensuality and erotic nature blossomed as I returned to love, I started to truly FEEL for the first time in my life, truly feel my body and her deepest desires and then the energy of all things, tethered to the collective in a way that is unable to be expressed in words. Passion returned and ignited a holy fire within, anchoring my spiritual nature in the now. I returned to the Earth; I could hear her heartbeat through my own blood. Something shifted so tenderly in me and my inner sanctuary that I flowered into the most potent, radiant, fully expressed, sexual, powerful, deeply rooted and expansive version of myself.

Like the rose, I am simply Being, and, in my being, I know I am innately worthy, whole, beautiful, loved and cherished.

I crafted this existence of my life, having clawed myself out of the mud to bloom radiantly and magnetically.

I have attended many deaths of my own ego, attachments, and grieved, sorrowed and howled from the depths of my pelvis and the pain of the marrow in my bones.

And now, it is my passion to doula the birth of you in the same potent way.

The path I have chosen is not an easy one, it is in deep service and a calling that I cannot deny, even if I wanted to.

It is liberation, union, love and piercing the veil of illusions and fear.

It is transformation for the ones who hear the call from the depth of their Soma.

It is decay and rot. Blood, sweat and tears.

It is weaving the divine and the profane.

I can hold you and be with you in the deep and dark, as we walk this path, because I have been there too.

My life is now so abundant, think frolicking around naked fairy vibes. I am provided for endlessly and fruitfully. My connection to the Earth, energies and collective is something that unfolds evermore. I am deeply embodied, raw, authentic and in love with the temple of my body. I have deeply conscious and loving relationships and I wish this for you too. 

My highest alignment is to be in service, liberated, wild, free, an erotic muse for the mases and be so devotional to the collective rhythm and heart of all creation.

From Love we are made, to love we will return again, anything else that is soaked in separation is simply a forgotten reclamation of self and wholeness.

We will return to the cosmic bang once again and remember our divine oneness and holiness….

But for now, we dance in alchemy, union, polarity and find the wonder in this experience of the sensations.

May as well experience joy, wonder, peace, pleasure and play while we are here.

Walk this path with me

Some modalities, teachers and experiences I have moved through that have helped me on my path that I would like to honour in this space -

Abode Yoga and Natural Healing, The Feminine Arts, The Tantric Arts, Archetypal Embodiment, Womb Temples, Ayurvedic Studies, Shamanic Mentor from Peruvian lineages, The Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality, Conscious Love, Orgasmic Birthing, Doula and Postpartum Doula Training, Balinese Traditional Healing, Somatic Trauma Therapy, Timeline Therapy, Parts Work, Gestalt Therapy.