organic sexuality
I have been pondering a lot about sexuality lately. I have been feeling into what is true and what is just shiny on the outside.
I have largely felt and seen the blanket of illusion on sexuality fall over the world in a promise of glitter and explosive orgasms with access to other realms.
The myth of the turned on woman, dripping in desire and lust is a lie.
I did not want it to be true, I wanted it to be reality and I followed blindly the path of the goddess like never before. It is kind of intoxicating isn’t it? If you have followed this path, you will know too, that it kind of numbs you out to life a bit and makes you want to say yes, yes, yess…instead of truly looking into your heart and hearing the holy voice of discernment and your sacred no.
It pulls you in, like a magnet, feeding off your sacred sexual energy.
Many, many traumas are felt in the tantric community. The promise that you can make any touch, any sensation, anybody desirable and pleasurable beyond belief. Open your body more, say yes more, surrender more and you will have energetic orgasms dear one. The snakes that are within you will rise up and you will feel like a goddess. You are a goddess/god, you create your own reality (This is a topic for another day, but why is there even snakes in your body? And what is the point of having them there?).
Be full of lust, dripping in desire and have a wet ass pussy…am I right?
The problem with all this though, is it is not in alignment with the feminine and our true organic sexuality. As a matter of fact, I would say that the opposite is true and the rise of this movement is creating more harm than good to a whole new generation of children that are oversexualized and have this penetrative view and outward masculine expression of women’s sexuality.
How have we fought for women’s empowerment, to fall straight back into the masculine expression of what women’s sexuality is and should be? How have we followed the exact same path and keep pushing this damaging narrative amongst the spiritual and coaching communities?
It is because it NOT ORGANIC!
It is pushed, forced and anything that has to be imprinted upon us all the time, is not of our true and organic nature and frequency. It is a narrative that has been sold back to us about our sexuality.
Our sexual expression and our sexuality at its purest essence is more than outward expression of desire.
It is love, from the heart, intangible to describe and can be felt and experienced in many different ways. We cannot get to the core of our sexuality, until we remove these imprints from the depth of our soul and disconnect from these false matrixes and ideologies of what our sexuality SHOULD be like and what our sexuality actually IS. The truth of the matter though, is sexuality is so vast, so varied and so distorted in this 3D realm, that it truly has to be FELT from within and not told about from without.
When I have dived deep into my own sexual expression, I have found that I am not all fire, all the time. There is a softness there, a choosing to open up intimately and a choosing to welcome in my love on the deepest levels. It’s an expression of love, innocence and play.
I use to believe that we were made from sex, so therefore we are sex, and although I still feel this is true in a way.. it is not the whole truth.
There is this whole mystery of our body and the cosmos and the miracle of birth and when I think about it all, there is something bigger and more powerful than the universe out there, that created the universe itself.
We are so much more than sex and stardust and our essence is created from this incredible power of love and god.
Our Organic Sexuality is not found in anything external to ourselves. I feel the rise of sexual empowerment, is a deep penetrative energy that actually hinders our authentic expression and keeps us in healing loops of working on our sexuality to become this “turned on” woman, which enables our sexual energy to constantly be fed upon, exploited and siphoned.
This is not sexual liberation.
Always feeling like something is wrong with us if we are not this expression and not always lusting after sex. Always seeking the next jade egg, crystal wand, tantric massage, pussy healing, couples workshops, seeing other people to get that drive and desire back, etc and so on. All consumerism at is finest, all seeking externally and it’s like a drug, right? Chasing that next chemical hit of passion.
I see it all the time in my sacred containers…..and I have to ask what if this is not your sexual expression? What if you just truly do not want to have sex all the time? What if you stop seeking externally and truly felt within your self, what and how your sexuality and sexual expression looks like? What does it feel like? How does it want to be today, in this moment? Can you accept that it is perfect already, there is nothing to fix. Can you accept yourself just as you are and your gorgeous, natural expression of your sexuality?
Because I am telling you, the most free and naturally expressed I feel in my sexuality, is not when I am having sex with my husband and trying to reach enlightened states of consciousness and be somewhere else…It is when I am in the present moment with him, laughing and choosing to allow him in and to penetrate me. It is when my heart is so full, it could explode, because I have created a life with so much love and wholeness. It is when I am naked in nature, sun on my skin, dirt in my toes and feeling the Earth breathe. It is when I am bathed in the water and can feel the full force of my feminine heart and the collective all at once, that it makes me cry. I feel it in my embodiment, everyday and something I do not seek, because it is within me….and it is within you too.
Disconnect from the narratives that are keeping you from your wholeness.
With love x