the sacred womb

Let’s talk about the portal of the womb, my personal initiation into womb awakening and how this is a sacred place of birth, intuition, spirit, magic and femininity has been erased out of our lives through severe disconnect in our community….. and how weaving our way back home to the birthing ground is how we reclaim our power as Women.

My womb story is one that is much like a lot of the stories I have held space for many Women. I had issues with my bleed from as young as 7, not entirely sure what was happening at the time and having gone to doctors, prodded, probed and with no resolution I was sent on my way. I had a very tumultuous time with my bleed from about 10 onwards, painful, clots, inconsistent, absent and severe disconnection from the beginning. I was diagnosed with PCOS by the time the time I was 15, with 32 cysts on my ovaries and hormonal issues, and was put on the pill to help with the “symptoms”.

Little did I know at the time, my womb was whispering at me for attention. I had been molested as a child and had already been sexually assaulted a fair few times before my initiation into menarche, which were never dealt with, talked about or allowed the breath of space to be witnessed. It was a multitude of deep dark secrets that were suffocated down into my body. Causing severe disconnect, disassociation and fragmentation with my body and feminine essence.

I was repulsed by my body, I hated it and this was all the start of my spiral. I would go through another 10 years of sexual, physical, psychological and mental abuse, while continuing to numb out and disconnect from my body through drugs and alcohol…. my menstruation was the whispers.

The screams came when I found out I was pregnant at 25. After being told I couldn’t have children my whole life, this came as a shock to me and when I found out, another severe health issue arose which made me make the rash decision to terminate. Still battling with a drug and alcohol addiction.

I truly believe falling pregnant saved my life and turned my life around to the path that I am on now. If I knew then, what I know now, I would have never made that decision. I believe the soul chose me at the time to wake me the fuck up! I had never been connected to my womb or felt it in my life. I was so used to numbing it that when I could feel life in there, it was horrific, like too much to bear.

The termination was hard, crushing actually and I held even more trauma from it, but it also activated me on to a path of sobriety, health, holistic healing, womb awakenings and menstruation reclamation. It is a journey I have been on for a decade, and I am deeply passionate about the sacredness of this delicious space.

Once I started to connect here and within to my womb, the harsh exterior I had built up around me for protection, started to melt away, drop by drop. My wisdom and intuition flourished beyond anything I could imagine. My menstruation started to speak to me, about my health, about my fertility and I become so in tune with my natural cycle.

I started using menstruation cups to be more connected to my bleed and remove the stigma and internal disgust I had for being a Woman. I gave my bleed to the Earth as a way to connect deeper to the rhythms externally, as well as internally. This expanded my connection to the Earth and nature exponentially.

I healed so much, I purged so much internal rage and trauma, by listening to my womb, connecting, humming with her and speaking from the depth of her wounds. All the times I had been poked, prodded and violated by others. Whether the medical industry, by Men or Women, or even by myself in ways of saying yes, when I really meant no. Betraying my boundaries (which were nonexistent after continual sexual abuse) or saying yes because I was in a relationship or felt obliged to.

Ohhhh how she was full of so much!

I needed to empty, and empty I did.

All the way until I was deep in tantric studies and my menstruation disappeared altogether in 2019, having only 2 bleeds in 2 years. This allowed me to go even deeper, even further, into the void and see all of what she was desiring and needing from me.

She was my call home.

To my erotic nature, to my calling and purpose, to my service, to my potency as a Woman and ultimate power. My intuition, my magic, my oracle nature.

Call it what you will. She was the calling from the wilds, back into my fully embodied Feminine.

I could go on and on about the initiation of the womb I have been through in this life, and how deeply connected I am to the great cosmic womb, but I feel this depth is felt by those around me.

I have helped many women prepare their wombs for birth, call in their children, clear their wombs of trauma and release much collective shit from this sacred place of power.

My calling as a womb whisperer and keeper is something that actively seeks me out, again and again. Even when I think it is not where I need to be, these beings find me and funnily enough, it’s their children who speak to me first and call me in to work with them. I have been connected to my children for 9 years myself and they communicate with me (this is a blog post for another day though, all about spirit babies, souls and gifts).

My type of healings are not light and fluff, they are deep, dark and from the soil of the earth. So, when I try to conceptualize in words what it is I do, I truly cannot, and I know the women I work with will attest to this. It is a calling from beyond. What I invite you into though, is the healing and medicine of yourself. I will guide you, walk with you, show you what to do, but ultimately my calling is for you to remember who the fuck you are and step into self-sovereignty to crack you open to your own true source of potency and power.

And that’s a big calling.

That is something we are not use to in this society and are conditioned to be reliant on external people/places/things, because this keeps us powerless and in seeking loops where we are looshed for our energy and lifeforce. So, it may feel strange, uncomfortable or too hard even, and to that I say…. it is and also it isn’t.

Sure, it’s not as easy as going somewhere and them placing their hands on you and you being “healed” for a moment in time. Is it easier than constantly seeking, searching and feeling broken?? Absolutely.

When you start to truly see beneath the veils and illusions, you begin to see how the womb is a woman’s place of power, her pelvis and hips are where she transmutes pain, grief, emotions and feelings. They are children bearing, strong enough to carry life and children, soft enough to open wide for birth and creations to come through. Like fuck. Can you imagine such a perfect design? Women are meant to be connected to their pussy and honour her deeply, cervixes are not made to be prodded and bruised, they are made to be massaged and open powerfully to allow the heart to bloom too.

You can then go deeper and see how we are so severely disconnected from our wombs from the beginning, how purposefully this is done and how it is manufactured to us as “normal”. The pill cuts us off from the power of bleed, we only have a chemical bleed, we become numb to our bodies, and it hinders our ability to find a partner, because it destroys our hormones and then when we are wanting children, we come off the pill and realise that our partners were not the one and their DNA does not match ours. Wombs are being taken out, tubes being tied, infertility is at an all-time high from plastics, pollutants, toxins and chemicals. They injected us with an HPV trial drug that destroyed a generations fertility and womb. Cysts, tumors, abnormal cells are rife, and they are still not sharing wisdom about our wombs, how to cycle, how to regulate hormones, track your flow and what herbs to use throughout.

Everything is designed to keep us from this power, even the way we have begun to birth the past 100 years.

However, there is something shifting and changing as I write these words within and also throughout the collective……

The collective womb is being expanded at this point in time, you can feel the energy. The collective feminine is also going through radical shifts, as the true template of the feminine is being unearthed at this time. This calls for a new wave, a new surge and new medicine of the Earth and Cosmos.

And the Womb is the birthing ground. The void that all life must be incubated in and come through.

The return of this remembrance calls for burning women.

Women connected to the Earth, connected to their hearts, anchoring in their sacred Womb and connected to each other. It is the only way.

Come home to the sacredness of your Womb, in a way that is deep, embodied and open for penetration by the divine creator.